P.S. (Pre script): Thought and tried to give this post a fictional touch but couldn’t. I figured I’ve got to express my love for John Mayer in the most honest way possible.
It all started a year ago, yes. I’m not an old fan of John, well comparatively. Like many others I only heard two songs of his as a college student. Any guesses? Yep, that’s right! Your body is a wonderland and who says. I never really gave importance to the singer until then and it was always about the song, mainly the lyrics.
A year ago, my then boyfriend told me about how he used one of his songs to impress girls in the past. Well, it’s a beautiful song by John, and I absolutely loved it. In that phase I started listening to more of Mayer’s songs to feel good about the guy and the relationship we shared. This introduced me to other wonderful songs by John that played in the YouTube’s playlist. Free fallin’, half of my heart, heartbreak warfare, and gravity became my new favorites. I slowly started building memories around these songs. For instance, in my trip to Leh July 2014, I was on a bike riding down the Rohtang Pass, it was cold and serene. I was surrounded with snow clad mountains that twinkled in broad day light due to the beautiful sun rays. I knew in that moment I had to plug in my ear phones and listen to free fallin’. Yes, that’s exactly what I did. That was the best 5 minutes I had in the entire trip.
Every song by John Mayer reminds me of something, something that is extremely important and close to my heart. That’s how I started listening to more of his songs and I was introduced to many other songs that are absolutely perfect in their own way. His songs gave me the strength to go through some really long days. The lyrics of his songs felt like they were meant for me, like he knew exactly how I felt. And before I realized I started growing passionate about a celebrity for the first time. I slowly fell absolutely, madly, and deeply in love with him. I’m never in awe of celebs, but with him it was or rather is different.
I went through a lot of rough time later in that year and his songs were one of the reasons that helped me survive and kept me strong. My days started and ended with his songs, I figured I could watch him play and sing for hours. Those cute (sometimes disturbing) and extremely passionate expressions stole my heart every time I looked at him. I slowly started expressing my love for him on my social media accounts and people started telling about the negative side of him. It was difficult to believe because the image I had rather still have about John is way different.
So I read and felt bad thinking that there was that side to him too. But hell! Who is perfect in this world? Not you, not me or not him. I did feel for a second that I shouldn’t have heard or read the bad side about him. Only because I didn’t want the feelings I have for him to fade away. I have a rule that I almost always follow – Don’t ask the questions you don’t want to know the answers to. I did feel for a moment that I should have stuck to the rule but the grey clouds cleared out soon.
A lot of things were now more than clear. I figured he is just another human who has the liberty to make mistakes and learn from them. We don’t just stop loving someone because they did something bad in the past, right? So, how could I stop loving him? Of course I couldn’t and I didn’t. I soon realized after all he is a big celebrity who will never know about my feelings for him. This obviously means he is not obligated to live according to my perception of John Mayer.
And life made so much sense after that. My love for him taught me the true meaning of love in return. I realized I was in that comfortable stage where I could love someone unconditionally. We often fall in love with the perception of a person in our minds, but it takes real courage to continue loving that person even when the bubble bursts. This is exactly what I learnt from the one sided love that I share with John Mayer.
I’m soon planning to get a tattoo that says – Heart of life is good – with two little cherry blossoms on both ends. It is one of his songs that is also one of my absolute favorites. The song is simple but I believe has the deepest meaning. Life can be shitty but what we really need to believe is that its heart is good. Life has its hard ways to teach some important lessons but it’s all just to make us better humans. The tattoo will be in dedication to this rough phase I had in the fall of 2014, and my love for John Mayer.
P.S. When I feel low about the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend I listen to the song named – Love Soon by John Mayer. It feels like he is singing it for me. *Blush*
P.P.S. Hey John! I really think you should gain some weight. You’re too thin now and that makes you look old. I don’t like it. But I will always love you.